As a child of a covert narcissist, who was prone to explosions of temper and ridicule, and gaslit my reality and emotions, I did not feel safe or loved by my mother and was not protected by my father. In childhood, I walked on eggshells and as a highly sensitive child, developed deep-seated self-loathing and a core wound from the stream of emotional and physical abuse.

Before connecting to my inner-child, perfectionism, people-pleasing and loose boundaries, reigned supreme. I was hypervigilant and suffering from complex PTSD. My negative self-talk was in overdrive, unhealthy relationship patterns led to lower and lower self-worth, and I was regularly riddled with fear and shame. Supersensitive to criticism, I was extremely defensive and could respond with vile anger or tearful tantrums; hard to love or even tolerate, I was lonely and confused. [Continue reading]