Stated in black and white

Yet, the English language is full of nuances.

What is stated can have shades of meaning and can easily be taken out of context.

Take Jimmy Fallon’s Superbowl joke, which has Canadians on Threads up in arms because they feel their sovereignty is threatened. Naively I replied to someone I have been following and interacting with for a while, thinking they agreed that Fallon’s intent was not malice; that people were missing the joke.

I wish I took a screenshot of my comment, but I was so shocked by the spite in this reply below from another, that I deleted it. It was along the lines that if they watched Fallon they’d know he was having a pop at 47. A quick Google search reveals which way Fallon leans.

There is no denying that I misread the situation; to err is human.

Ignoring whether Fallon’s joke is funny or not, how sad it is that we can no longer state a difference of opinion without resorting to a personal attack. This man went to my profile, read about my memoir, The Damage of Words, and felt it acceptable to reply with this:

Because I viewed it differently. Because I stated an alternate opinion. Is this where social media has led us? No more debating a point. No more considering other’s views. Just assuming the worst intent and a spiteful attack if someone has a different opinion.

We’ve all been on the receiving end of similar, right? It’s not isolated to online either, recent research stated, ‘In two studies involving over 3,000 participants, researchers found that while women voiced ideas as much as men in civil groups, they were more likely to withhold contributions in uncivil groups.‘

Recently, I shared a screenshot of a comment with my FB friends. Most also thought this person was having a go at me, except one. He interpreted it differently and stopped me in my tracks. I then had to admit that maybe I was wrong, perhaps it wasn’t as stated.

The difference: we were civil so I listened to his opinion.

Reflecting on what was stated

I began looking at the reply shown above from all angles.

Immediately, I realised I had underestimated the genuine concern Canadians feel. After witnessing the strength of their PM over the tariffs, I am unsurprised I erred.

I pondered the nasty words and how my character was harshly judged; the venom palpably stated.

Unexpectedly, it reminded me of when I used to argue with my ex-husband, years before I healed the core wound from my child abuse. My inner child upset would evoke my vicious inner teen and I would hurl words at him with little thought. Until he would call me by my mother’s name and I knew I had gone too far, and feel flooded with shame.

Perhaps this Canadian man has unhealed wounds, maybe his inner child feels genuinely scared. I won’t ever know, but I do know that this man’s venom is not mine to receive or hold. My opinion differed and I misread the room; lesson learned.

Lastly, I knew this was a taster of what lies after the publication of my memoir. It’s a vulnerable account of all I have done to heal and open spiritually. There’s plenty in there that people don’t believe; plenty also that even those who know me well don’t know about. But it’s written from my heart, not to make people worry about every comment they ever make but to know how words damaged me and how I healed. It’s written to inspire others.

Energetic protection

Ever walked into a room and known the people in there had been arguing or simply felt the tension in the air? We are all energetic beings so protecting yourself energetically from others is crucial, even more so if you’re an empath.

The way I protect myself is to picture myself in a shower of white light, letting it clear and cleanse my aura of anything that doesn’t belong there, and then to picture a second one of golden light, wrapping me in protection.

Without fail, I do this morning and night, so I didn’t absorb the toxin of his words. If I drew it for you, I would show myself in a bubble of golden light with a black arrow attempting, but unable, to pierce its skin. I find it helps, because even though I know that this man’s words say more about him than they do about me, their injustice could sting if I let them through.

This attack over my comment about Fallon’s “joke” could easily silence someone. I deleted my opinion, after all. But I’ve used it as an opportunity to reflect, learn and grow – something I wouldn’t have done years ago.

My words were not malicious, I just held a contrary opinion.

Surely, I am entitled to hold one of those?

💛