My Twin Flame & Soul Family experiences.
Since the recent documentary, there has been so much misinformation surfacing about Twin Flames that I felt compelled to share this snippet which explains more about soul family and Twin Flames. It is under 10 minutes, without any preamble, and if it is well received, I may well share some more! 🤩
In this video, I read the section on soul family and twin flames, but if you’d prefer not to hear my Aussie twang, scroll to below the video. 🤩
From Chapter 7: Monica in The Damage of Words
Like Michelle, Monica is a member of my soul family. Members of your soul family can be easy to identify; they’re the people you meet who you immediately love or possibly hate without having a “this life” reason to feel so strongly. They are the people your soul recognises from past lives. The people you sense you have known for forever after a short conversation.
Writer and Intuit Erica Cassidy describes it well because she mentions the darker side, ‘Our soul tribe is a group of souls who we have known for many, many lives and who help us navigate the lessons we face in this life. Your soul tribe consists of family members, friends, lovers, even antagonists designed to affect change by challenging you to rise up and grow.’ Researching I found that too many articles only mentioned the positive and, as several key players in my life lessons and more profound healing are antagonistic soul-family, this description is far more accurate.
This concept may sound farcical, but I have witnessed a non-believer instantly hate someone new in my life. Indeed, three others also warned me to stay away from him. Without a “this life” reason, they were all deeply concerned for my welfare. Later, in a past-life regression with Lorraine Flaherty, I discovered that all four were previously my children, and this person, my husband in that life, had killed us all. Believers or not, they sensed it.
Types of Soul Family
In Twin Flame vs. Soulmate, Aletheia Luna says, ‘Spiritually, soulmates usually play a major role in your development. It is possible for soulmates to be platonic, romantic or sexual in nature.’ Three she defines include:
- Soul friends: they share our deepest dreams, values, and drives. Not as deep as a Soul Companion; a Soul Friend’s company creates little friction.
- Soul teachers: the people in your life that have come to teach you a lesson. Often unintentionally, by providing challenging situations to overcome and learn from.
- Soul companions: share both attributes of Soul Friends and Soul Teachers but without the friction of a Soul Teacher, as Soul Companions lovingly share with us the journey. It is much more long-lived and stable.
By her definition and from my past life regressions with Lorraine, Monica was a (frictionless) soul teacher, and Michelle is a soul companion. Monica was with me for a time and taught me so much, whereas Michelle continues to teach me today.
As for soul friends, it makes me think of my friend, Becks. Of all the thousands of profile photos I regularly see across social media, hers always stood out. It would be easy to dismiss this as attraction because she is beautiful, but it was this deep feeling of connection or knowing. When we first worked together, she confessed she felt the same when seeing my picture! Over the years of our friendship, we have realised that we were mermaid sisters in a past life.
Aletheia also explains that ‘Soulmates and Twin Flame relationships have different purposes. While soulmates are there to provide gentle and stable support, Twin Flames are there to ignite the fires of spiritual transformation. Soulmate relationships are designed to uplift us, while the Twin Flame relationship is designed to challenge us.’
Being singed by my Twin Flame’s fire was definitely my experience. Twin Flame relationships help us with our inner work and spiritual transformation so that we become the best version of ourselves. Though it can be a romantic relationship, it can also be platonic.
Monica was a huge part of my recognising and healing from my Twin Flame, so it’s worth demystifying misconceptions. Sometimes called a mirror soul, it is an intense soul connection and comes from the notion that, at some point, a soul split into two bodies. However, it is essential to understand that it doesn’t mean that you are missing part of your soul or that they will complete you. You are complete on your own. A Twin Flame mirrors back all you need to work on to heal, and it was a lot to be confronted with, especially for him.
Before you get excited by the idea of meeting your “ultimate” soulmate, it’s possible that you don’t have one or that if you do come together, it will be to heal, so don’t expect it to be easy. Mine was toxic and brutal. However, I am very grateful for the lessons and gifts because I grew exponentially, and nobody will ever treat me that way again!
In Sarah Regan’s article, 11 signs you’ve found your mirror soul, she lists:
|When you met, there was instant recognition – it was surreal.
|The relationship is very intense – even across the world.
|You’re very similar – we both suffered childhood trauma.
|You keep coming back together – Thankfully, our lessons are complete, so this won’t happen.
|You complement each other – his darkness matched my light & vice versa.
|Your connection feels divine – it was, and also karmic.
|Your insecurities and doubts are amplified – which increased his insecure behaviour and my irrationality!
|You have an almost psychic connection – scarily so.
|They feel magnetic – far too much, so my boundaries dropped.
|They push you to be and do better – he did, often via unfair criticism.
|The relationship is tumultuous – but led to enormous growth.
In this lifetime, my Twin Flame displays the traits of a covert narcissist, which amplified what would have already been a tumultuous Twin Flame “relationship”. I met him six years into my healing journey when I felt full of self-worth, but over time, he picked away at it, and if I’m honest, I allowed it. I placed relationship in speech marks because it was sexual, so it meant something to me initially, but it was so messed up. I was on an emotional rollercoaster, trapped in a toxic web of lies and pain.
Another six years on, I can almost laugh that I tolerated his outbursts, but I want to share a few of my mistakes.
- Projecting his shame wound: I was angrily belittled for joking with an Uber driver about heavily padded American footballers versus non-padded Aussie Rules players because that somehow emasculated and embarrassed him.
- Projecting his insecurity: he told me I didn’t belong on the stage hours before one of my most significant speaking engagements. Thankfully, that fuelled one of my best keynotes to date!
- Projecting his infidelity: after a dinner, where I had sat next to one of my closest married male friends, he scolded me for non-sexually hugging my friend.
- When he started sleeping with my “soul sister” (more on her soon), he spent a 3-hour car trip glorifying her without any empathy; he mocked my hurt. Then he cheated on this “absolute wonder” with me within 24 hours—clearly, I had lost all self-respect and boundaries.
Note: these examples are of narcissism and projection, so if you know someone behaving like this, it doesn’t mean they are your Twin Flame.
I accepted that he was my Twin Flame because even though he lives over 4500 miles away, the energy between us is intense in a way I have not experienced with another human. For example, I was sleepily watching TV and suddenly felt like somebody had penetrated me. I messaged him, ‘Were you just thinking about me?’ and he replied, ‘Yes, I was just thinking about entering you.’ This level of connection was startling and amplified an already toxic relationship. I can feel him even today unless I employ solid energetic barriers, and we’ve not communicated in years.
So, though it may seem enticing to meet yours, remember the difference. A Twin Flame is one soul split into two bodies, and the relationship can become toxic; soul mates are two separate souls that are extraordinarily linked, and the relationship tends to be more stable.
I also want to mention karmic relationships briefly because this was the nature of my last romantic liaison, and I will talk more about that in Lorraine. From a spiritual view, karmic relationships are usually short, where two souls agree to help each other’s paths before entering their current lifetime. This is usually by healing unresolved issues from past lives, which it definitely was in our case.